did today even happen?

So, today we were to leave for India. Our carrier is Air France, so we had the first leg of the flight, Detroit to Paris. so everything goes fine, and we’ve boarded the plane and everything’s cool.

Then a French guy (i.e. the pilot) comes on the PA and says that there’d be a bit of a delay because they have to de-ice the plane. Fine. Good. Better off de-icing for a bit than taking off without, that’s what I always say (I never say that).

We could see the equipment de-icing the wings… They were spraying a liquid onto them, and by my estimation, the de-icing was going just fine (I know nothing about de-icing, especially if it is in fact spelled “de-icing”, or maybe “deicing”. That just doesn’t look right, though, and seems like it would be pronounced “dicing”).

Then we hear a kind of thud and the plane seemed to vibrate a little, but it didn’t seem like a big deal. We thought maybe the baggage handlers had closed up the baggage door and that’s what made the noise.

Then there was a nauseating smell kind of like gasoline, but not quite. Just real chemically. Really strong. I am usually not nauseated by smells like those, but this was just that bad. I was breathing through my mouth during this part.

A little bit later (maybe 20 minutes), the pilot comes back and says that what had actually happened is that the de-icing truck had hit the plane. And that the plane was damaged. And that we had to get off the plane now.

He reiterated this message a few times, since there apparently was some confusion among the passengers. At the end of the last time explaining that the flight was cancelled, those who are local to the airport would have to go home, those for whom this was a connecting flight would get a free night in a hotel near the airport, and that we are all to be back at the Air France ticket desk at 2pm tomorrow, he said “No confusion!”, which caused pretty much everyone on the plane to burst out laughing. It really was funny. Because there was still so much confusion, and because the guy had a French accent and it seemed like he was struggling with English anyway, and the phrase “No confusion!” just seemed really weird and inappropriate and kind of commanding in a very non-apologetic way. “No confusion! Under the new homeland security rules, confusion is not permitted on this aircraft!”

I also forgot to mention that the music playing in the plane during the boarding/de-icing process was a short 5 song mix which included Radiohead’s ‘No Surprises’… D and I were talking before the incident occurred that it was a weird yet somehow appropriate song to hear before taking off in an airplane, where no alarms and no surprises is the best possible scenario. But still a weird choice for a commerical jet line, I thought.

After disembarking the plane, we had to go retrieve our luggage at the baggage claim. And it took forever. Then we went to Ram’s Horn, and came home. So, back to the airport tomorrow it is!

Even though we’re losing a day in India because of this, I’ve gotten past the “This is bullshit!” phase and now find the entire situation really weird and funny. Almost surreal. Like today didn’t even happen. The whole point of today was to get up early, finish packing and go to the airport and now we’re just back home again.

Wish us luck getting there tomorrow!